By TANYA ENBERG, Special to the Sun: September 6, 2004
Bombshell blonds may be having more fun than their brunette counterparts, but what about women stacked with ample Baywatch-style boobs? Let's face it -- everywhere you look, big kahunas are popping out all over. From Lil' Kim busting loose in a slinky dress at the MTV Video Music Awards to Janet Jackson's Superbowl breast blunder -- oops, "wardrobe malfunction" -- it seems that more and more women are putting their "credentials" up front and centre.
But when it comes to breasts, is bigger really better?
There was only one way to find out -- hit the streets with a new set of knockers.
'NEW GIRLS IN TOWN'
That's right, with the help of a padded push-up bra and a set of silicone falsies, my modest set of size 36B breasts were instantly transformed into cleavage-spilling jumbo jugs.
Very nice. Still, how was the rest of the world going to greet the new girls in town?
After squeezing into a tiny T-shirt, it was time to turn some heads. It wasn't only my chest that was boosted with newfound confidence.
With mission firmly in place, I headed out to my first stop -- the laundromat.
True, there's an undeniable rush of confidence that comes from seeing the "Body Wonders" falsies jiggle and bounce with the best of 'em.
That is until the spares suddenly popped out from my chest and started freely flipping and flopping about in the middle of the laundromat.
I scramble to retrieve them (do they have minds of their own?) and furtively look around to see if anyone's noticed this bizarre scene. Fun? Not exactly.
Next stop, the Canadian National Exhibition, where stares are rampant. Sure the looks primarily come from puberty-stricken boys, but it does appear the beefed-up breasts are firing out some very strong opposite-sex attracting signals.
As busty stars such as Pamela Anderson juggle with just how big to go, one has to wonder, is more than a handful really just a waste?
"There's no doubt that we are a breast-focused society," says Toronto-based plastic surgeon Dr. Mitchell Brown. "But there are men who like smaller breasts, and some who like larger breasts. I find it so completely personal."
Implants, he stresses, are not for everyone.
"It's for people who are doing it for the right reasons -- for themselves," he says.
Anne, 26, (not her real name), is one such woman. After having a baby at 15 years of age, her breasts lost their shape from the combined effects of pregnancy and breast-feeding. Now, she's determined to get implants.
"They're just not full," Anne complains of her size 36A breasts. "They just kind of fall there."
Anne isn't looking for a huge set.
"I don't want to be a silicone porn star," she laughs. "I just want to go to a B (cup) so that I can look in the mirror and be satisfied by what I see."
Toronto-based cosmetic surgeon Dr. Robert Stubbs says women seek implants for various reasons.
"(There is the) 25-year-old who's been waiting for her breasts to grow since puberty and they still haven't come, and the women who've had them but lost them," he says.
'DIDN'T FEEL SEXY'
Many women experience shrinkage after breast-feeding, Stubbs explains.
One of his patients spoke recently during recovery after just having had breast augmentation.
"Looking in the mirror I just didn't feel sexy," says the 29-year-old Canada Post employee and mother of two. "I didn't even need a bra. This past year I wore padded bras just to see what it was like."
For her, implants have nothing to do with attracting men.
"I did it for my own self-confidence. This is my gift to myself after having children."
Still, many women take pride in their smallish-sized twins.
Sophie Nicholls, 26, of Toronto, says that while she was often teased when she was younger for being flat, she has come to terms with her 34A size.
In a world of mega-sized portions, Nicholls says size doesn't always matter.
"I really don't care anymore," says Nicholls. "I think padding is pathetic, just in the fact that it's false advertising. You're basically stuffing yourself."
When it comes to implants, Nicholls says it's not an option.
As for me and my falsies, well, they're getting stuffed all right -- in the closet. At least until I have a slinky little dress that needs some filling out.
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